Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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