is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
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His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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