im about as happy as oj after his trial
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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