yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
