im drinking this country out of the recession.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
