At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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