I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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