I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
