I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
where does the pee come out of this thing
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
