so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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