the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
