i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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