They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
