I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
