love makes seman taste better
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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