it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
