I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
