he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
