for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
