Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
