Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
