Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
