If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
