The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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