where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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