Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
