So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Send help, water and tortillas.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
