Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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