I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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