I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I have aggressive nipples.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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