I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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