shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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