I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
