Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
