i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
