I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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