So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
