What did we do last night that was yellow?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
