Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I smell like Dick and happiness
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
