Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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