If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
