Don't you send me to vm
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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