And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
