So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
