If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
