ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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