Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
