Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
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everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
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i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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