I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Your dad touched me again.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
