i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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