As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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