You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
ttyl tear gas
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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