i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
