and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
