Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I have surprise drugs for everyone
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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