so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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