soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
